


Denial

by GreyWeeknds



Series: 30 days writing challenge [13]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:33:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyWeeknds/pseuds/GreyWeeknds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>’You’re beautiful’ the voice echoes inside of his head. He’s heard it so many times before but it still makes his heart beats faster and his whole body feel warm. He loves to hear them when he most needs them, when he feels all empty inside and the tears streams like a waterfall down his cheeks. Niall’s been clinging on the words for so long that he sometimes actually believes them, or he wants to anyway. Even though his mum says it to him often he only trusts it when the emerald orbs looks into his with a blurry sight and touches him tenderly. It’s nice when the other bloke is gentle with his tiny body, because that is the only time that he actually feels loved by him. When he’s been drinking too much he turns to this dominant and aggressive monster that just treats him like a doll and continues even though he doesn’t want to. He never says stop, but when he cries he hopes that would make him understand how much it hurts, how much his heart bleeds. But he doesn’t, he only continues and moans his name in his ear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial

_’You’re beautiful’_ the voice echoes inside of his head. He’s heard it so many times before but it still makes his heart beats faster and his whole body feel warm. He loves to hear them when he most needs them, when he feels all empty inside and the tears streams like a waterfall down his cheeks. Niall’s been clinging on the words for so long that he sometimes actually believes them, or he wants to anyway. Even though his mum says it to him often he only trusts it when the emerald orbs looks into his with a blurry sight and touches him tenderly. It’s nice when the other bloke is gentle with his tiny body, because that is the only time that he actually feels loved by him. When he’s been drinking too much he turns to this dominant and aggressive monster that just treats him like a doll and continues even though he doesn’t want to. He never says stop, but when he cries he hopes that would make him understand how much it hurts, how much his heart bleeds. But he doesn’t, he only continues and moans his name in his ear.

He’s grateful for the times when they meet at the parties, because if it had been in school then the taller teen wouldn’t even look towards him. If it hadn’t been for the strong liquids then he wouldn’t even want to touch him. He knows that, because the mornings after they’d made love to each other Harry just repeats that it was a mistake, and that it was all because of the booze. He never hears him sobbing in the pillow after he leaves, never sees the tears that falls down on the sheets that still smells the scent of sex. He doesn’t even bother to ask him stay, it’s useless anyway.

Liam’s been noticing lately that there is something that seems wrong with the former bubbly lad that’s been his best friend for years, he doesn’t seem so happy as before. He only smiles when he hears a joke, before he would laugh so much that he would end up on the floor crying and trying to catch his breath. He wants to ask him what’s wrong, if there’s something that’s happened to him. But then he sees the smug grin on Styles and how the Irish seems to flinch when he sees him. He doesn’t know what’s happened to Niall, but he’s certain that the curly haired guy is the cause of his weird behaviour.

When the blonde comes to school one day he sees Harry snogging some bird, and it makes him petrified and he just keeps staring at them, not knowing what he can do. He wants to rip her of his grip and tell her that the man that she’s shoving down her tongue in is fucking him when he’s drunk, but can’t because he’s promised him, because he loves him. So he forces himself to leave them alone and probably do the dirty, because in the end he doesn’t even mean anything to him.

It’s been almost a month since the last time he felt younger boy’s naked body against his, all his hope has begun to sink away. But one day he just stands there in his doorway with tear trails on his blushing cheeks. For just a brief second he imagines that Harry finally has been coming to his senses and understood how much Niall actually means to him, that he misses him as much as he does. But then he hears him sob that the girl has broken up with him. That is first time that they don’t have sex, that Niall just holds his arms around him and comforts him while his own heart is slowly dying.

He can’t pretend much longer, this whole un-off relationship has made him weak and vulnerable. Sometimes he just lays awake on the nights wondering what he has ever made to deserve this. Love wasn’t supposed to be like this, not that he was the one who would feel all the feelings as the other one was just using his body when he needed it to. He didn’t even feel pretty anymore, he just felt like this filthy sex toy that was waiting for Harry to open his drawer when he felt lonely.

 _‘It’s my heart that you’re playing with and you don’t even realize how fucking much it hurts.’_ he remembers himself whisper when Harry’s asleep. He wants him to hear, but he would be too much of a coward to say the words aloud to him. The whole room is dark and there is red bruises on his chest from when the brunette kissed him passionately before. He still smells like beer and smoke, and he doesn’t seem to notice the teardrops that fall down pleadingly on the taller body. Niall wants to be the one who’ll be embraced this time, just for a minute if that is all he can get. He wants Harry to dry away the tears on his cheeks while he whispers that everything will be good soon, if he only waits for just a little bit longer.

The day after Harry is away, this time he didn’t even bother to stay to say goodbye to Niall. Slowly he walks to the wardrobe and takes out the black t-shirt that he stole the first time he was at Harry’s place. He presses it hardly against his chest as he draws in the scent; it stills smells as amazing as it did the first time. Carefully he folds it back together as he hides it in the box behind all the clothes. He looks down on what it contains; there are only a few things but it makes his belly feel a bit warmer. There is the note that Harry scribbled down on one time, it says that he loves the dimple beneath his chin. There is picture of the two of them, kissing each other tenderly. He smiles a sad smile before he puts the secret box back again.

It takes another couple of weeks before Harry turns up on the pavement besides his house again. The clock is almost two am at the morning and he wakes up when he hears small bangs on his window. He doesn’t even care that the green-eyed lad has made a crack in the glass when he threw the stones on it. Silently he climbs out of the window and jumps down on the roof, he sees that Harry can’t even stand straight, his legs is wobbling and for a brief second it looks like he’s supposed to fall down.

“What are you doing here? You could have woken up my parents.” He mutters when he is on the ground and can feel Harry’s breath against his skin.

“I just missed you babe.” He whispers seductively as he tries to kiss him.

“Stop it, I’m done with you.” Niall says as he pushes away the chest from his body.

The brunette looks shocked, the blonde has never said no to him before. He doesn’t even understand what he’s done wrong, he’s been treating him the same like he always done before.

“Why?” he asks confusingly and he can hear that his voice chokes a bit.

“Because I’m in love with you and I can’t stand being your napkin when you feel sad. I can’t continue to just be here waiting when you’re in so much denial that you don’t even realize that you love me too. That’s why. So don’t bother to come here again, because I don’t even fucking care anymore.” Niall shrieks.

Harry sees the smaller teen climbing up on the ladder and after just a second he is up in his old bedroom again. Niall cries the entire night with his head buried between his knees; it feels like someone just stamped on his heart and all the blood just turned to ice. He knows that it will take a lot of time before he will cope again, but in the end it will be worth it. Because now he feels a bit more proud over himself, he finally stood up for himself.

 

 


End file.
